Ready Player One by Ernest Cline

This book is a change of pace from what I have reviewed lately and it is totally good stuff.  The setting is a post energy crisis apocalyptic United States.  That’s right we have run out of fuel and are short on all other sources of power in general.  So needless to say the world in general is pretty grim with the exception of The OASIS.  The OASIS is a virtual reality world and it is here where we meet Wade Watts.  In real life Wade is an awkward, poor, fat kid without a friend in the world.  In The OASIS however….well quite frankly things aren’t too different for Wade there but there is hope.  Inside The OASIS there is an all out treasure hunt under way.  The creator of The OASIS, a freaky reclusive 80s pop culture obsessed nut has hidden the key to winning millions and ownership the OASIS.  But he might have done too good a job hiding it because it’s been five years and no one has even come close to finding it.  These grim facts don’t stop Wade, who spends every waking moments studying 80s movies, arcade games, television shows and all things totally bodacious and rad  in hopes of discovering  how to win the money, save both worlds and of course get the girl.  This is no easy task as Wade will face well funded corporate bad guys, clues that are seemingly impossible to decipher and his first serious crush. Still you are rooting for  Wade as he battles evil in the real world and in virtual reality to see if he has what it takes to make both worlds a better place….you know one that is filled with giant robots, flying DeLoreans and a Rush soundtrack playing at full blast.

This book rocked…hard.  I t made me laugh, sigh, cringe and remember how deep my love of  the Breakfast Club, A-Ha music videos, Ferris Bueller and all things truly 80s (now if we could only convince kids today to leave the fashion in the 80s where it should stay forever…seriously no more leg warmers ladies it wasn’t a good look the first time around).

If It Was Easy, They'd Call the Whole Damn Thing a Honeymoon: Living with and Loving the TV-Addicted, Sex-Obsessed, Not-So-Handy Man You Married.

Laugh out loud funny.  Jenna McCarthy writes this memoir in such an easy breezy way that you would swear you were sitting around with your girlfriends listening to them bitch and moan about their husbands.  You are guaranteed to smile at the description of how utterly useless and needy her husband becomes at the first sign of a cold or the classic in the car fight where you yell for him to pull over...and then he actually does. As an added bonus there are these sections called "At least I'm not married to him".  See Jenna is apparently a pretty avid blogger and had asked her followers to share with her the most annoying thing their husbands (whom they love dearly) does that drives them insane.  These tiny stories within the stories are always funny, often relatable and more often then not will make you appreciate that your hubby/significant does not do and what women are willing to endure in the  name of love.  Jenna does not come off as angel in this book by any means, she points out a lot of the crazy annoying things she does and really owns that she talks to much even though this clearly the thing she does that drives her hubby bananas.  It's a light read, it's a funny read and it's a book you'll definitely end up recommending to your friend or sister...if for no other reason to chat about over a big glass of wine (or vodka).

 

Funny side note: I read a review for this book that explained how the reader shouldn't be turned off by the author and how she's not the brainless bimbo blonde we all remember from MTV's "Singled Out".  I skimmed the rest of the review which did the book justice by highlighting it's funny take and convinced me I should in fact make the effort to read it.  At about the second chapter I noticed that this in fact sounded nothing like the life of a Playboy model/T.V host mainly because it's not.  As in actually not the same person - the author - Jenna - the playmate Jenny.  So egg on my face but still read on and laugh often. 

BAD BOOK ALERT: The Lie...no lie its really terrible

The Lie by Chad Kultgen

So apparently we are calling this type of novel "Fratire"....well that alone should have set off a big red flag.  I read this because it was recommended to me by a fairly reliable source and the reviews were intriguing.   Well apparently the reviews I read were given by people who (a) either didn't read this book or (b) hate their mothers.  This "novel"  (I feel like I'm betraying other novels I like by even referring to this as a novel) is told from the point of view of the three main characters: Brett, Kyle and Heather.  Brett wins the award for asshole of the year his lust for women is only matched by his disdain towards the entire female gender (think of reading about the a dude who's only real pleasure in life comes from sexually humiliating women and refers to everyone by c-word...yuck).  Kyle is sad and pathetic and although you think you might feel bad for him in the end he's just as big of a self centered loser as every other character. Heather...oh Heather its painful to read about you and for an author who is suppose to write so honestly about men - he can't write a female character to save his life.  Much like Glamora this novel makes you hate every character, leaves you unsympathetic to their stories and makes you realize if you ever met them in real life you would be hard pressed not punch them in the mouth.  What is the plot summary you may be asking.  Boy meets girl - girl dates boy in hopes of sleeping with his best friend - shockingly this doesn't end happily - three people then do their best to ruin each other lives for another 200 pages or so of absolute craptacular nonsense.   Bottom line do not read this book I promise you will enjoy scrubbing your bathroom tile grout more than reading this "novel".

A Bad Day for Sorry by Sophie Littleford

It’s a crime novel and a mystery and totally good stuff.  In this novel we meet Stella Hardesty, a widow, who out lived her abusive jackass of a husband.  Stella has gotten all kinds of sassy in her old age and has taken to helping out women who find themselves stuck in bad situations.  Chrissy Shaw is just that kind of woman.  Her ex is a mobster wanna be who’s hell bent on kidnapping his son and making Chrissy miserable.  Join these two unlikely crime fighters as they battle the mob and do a little ass kicking of their own.

Slash by Slash with Anthony Bozza

This is for real the best biography I have ever read (okay to be honest I haven’t read that many biographies in my life but I’m working on that).  The cover of this books reads “It seems excessive…but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen” and that is the most accurate statement ever.  Every chapter I was literally shocked and kept thinking to myself this can’t actually be true.  Reading all the things this man and the rest of the Guns N Roses guys did, knowing that they lived through it and knowing that none of them spent any real time in jail is perhaps the most shocking thing of all.  All I can really say is I thought I understood what the whole “Rock n Roll” lifestyle was all about (I mean I’ve seen VH1 behind the music) but the truth is I had no idea when they say “Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll” that there literally isn’t time for anything else to be thrown into the mix.  This book is an absolute must read (even if you’re not a big GnR fan…in fact it might even solidify your hatred of all things Axel Rose).  For the record I’ve read the Motley Crue biography and they got nothing on Slash, Nikki Sixx is close but even being dead for a minute doesn’t top the craziness that is Slash. I guarantee you will thank me for recommending this book. 

Wanna Get Lucky by Deborah Coonts

So I am trying to branch out and read some genres I have previously neglected so I was on the hunt for a mystery (pun totally intended) when I came across this book. I am happy to report this book did not disappoint. It’s set in Las Vegas and follows Lucky O’Toole (get over the poor choice of name it’s totally worth it), the Customer Service head of a large casino. Lucky is in the middle of solving a murder, managing her mother - who runs a brothel, falling in love with her best friend/best female impersonator in Vegas and trying to get her life to be more play and less work. You are with this tough little cookie as she dominates a male dominated environment while rocking her Jimmy Choos. You will laugh and blush a little but it’s a good time and a quick read. Warning to my squeamish friends there is a porn convention (nothing graphic) so suck it up you big prudes and enjoy because it’s VEGAS baby!

Note: There is now a sequel to this titled Lucky Stiff...also good stuff a full review to follow.

Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman

Okay I love prison, not in the I’m dying to get in there way but more in the wow that sounds freakin’ terrible and I want to know more about it. This is the memoir of a middle class white girl who goes a little too wild in her youth and then over a decade later ends up in federal prison. I read this book in Montauk on vacation with the family and if there was less distractions I would have read the whole thing cover to cover. Despite the fact that prison sounds like a horribly depressing place this is an easy read (and oddly not depressing). This memoir is really about overcoming bad situations and realizing how grateful we should be for the little things in our life. For my squirmish friends there is no real brutality or sexuality here so you're safe.

Feeling a little sorry for yourself go ahead and read this and you’ll find yourself grateful for proper running shoes, food not cooked in a microwave and that no one has ever demanded you strip, bend over and cough….

And so it begins

Hi there and welcome to my brand spanking new blog.  This blog is where I will share reviews of new books, old books and everything in between (with the not so occasional snarky comment). While there are in fact lots of people out there reviewing books I promise to do so honestly.  Honestly you say?  Why yes, yes indeed.  See, no one is currently paying to read my opinion so I have the luxury of giving it honestly. This means I get to share the great books I've read with you as well as warn you of the not so great and quite honestly terrible books I have had the displeasure of reading.  So, I hope you like what you see you and come back often but either way be sure to say something in a comment section I'm always open to a different point of view.