BAD BOOK ALERT: The Lie...no lie its really terrible

The Lie by Chad Kultgen

So apparently we are calling this type of novel "Fratire"....well that alone should have set off a big red flag.  I read this because it was recommended to me by a fairly reliable source and the reviews were intriguing.   Well apparently the reviews I read were given by people who (a) either didn't read this book or (b) hate their mothers.  This "novel"  (I feel like I'm betraying other novels I like by even referring to this as a novel) is told from the point of view of the three main characters: Brett, Kyle and Heather.  Brett wins the award for asshole of the year his lust for women is only matched by his disdain towards the entire female gender (think of reading about the a dude who's only real pleasure in life comes from sexually humiliating women and refers to everyone by c-word...yuck).  Kyle is sad and pathetic and although you think you might feel bad for him in the end he's just as big of a self centered loser as every other character. Heather...oh Heather its painful to read about you and for an author who is suppose to write so honestly about men - he can't write a female character to save his life.  Much like Glamora this novel makes you hate every character, leaves you unsympathetic to their stories and makes you realize if you ever met them in real life you would be hard pressed not punch them in the mouth.  What is the plot summary you may be asking.  Boy meets girl - girl dates boy in hopes of sleeping with his best friend - shockingly this doesn't end happily - three people then do their best to ruin each other lives for another 200 pages or so of absolute craptacular nonsense.   Bottom line do not read this book I promise you will enjoy scrubbing your bathroom tile grout more than reading this "novel".

A Bad Day for Sorry by Sophie Littleford

It’s a crime novel and a mystery and totally good stuff.  In this novel we meet Stella Hardesty, a widow, who out lived her abusive jackass of a husband.  Stella has gotten all kinds of sassy in her old age and has taken to helping out women who find themselves stuck in bad situations.  Chrissy Shaw is just that kind of woman.  Her ex is a mobster wanna be who’s hell bent on kidnapping his son and making Chrissy miserable.  Join these two unlikely crime fighters as they battle the mob and do a little ass kicking of their own.

Slash by Slash with Anthony Bozza

This is for real the best biography I have ever read (okay to be honest I haven’t read that many biographies in my life but I’m working on that).  The cover of this books reads “It seems excessive…but that doesn’t mean it didn’t happen” and that is the most accurate statement ever.  Every chapter I was literally shocked and kept thinking to myself this can’t actually be true.  Reading all the things this man and the rest of the Guns N Roses guys did, knowing that they lived through it and knowing that none of them spent any real time in jail is perhaps the most shocking thing of all.  All I can really say is I thought I understood what the whole “Rock n Roll” lifestyle was all about (I mean I’ve seen VH1 behind the music) but the truth is I had no idea when they say “Sex, Drugs and Rock n Roll” that there literally isn’t time for anything else to be thrown into the mix.  This book is an absolute must read (even if you’re not a big GnR fan…in fact it might even solidify your hatred of all things Axel Rose).  For the record I’ve read the Motley Crue biography and they got nothing on Slash, Nikki Sixx is close but even being dead for a minute doesn’t top the craziness that is Slash. I guarantee you will thank me for recommending this book. 

Wanna Get Lucky by Deborah Coonts

So I am trying to branch out and read some genres I have previously neglected so I was on the hunt for a mystery (pun totally intended) when I came across this book. I am happy to report this book did not disappoint. It’s set in Las Vegas and follows Lucky O’Toole (get over the poor choice of name it’s totally worth it), the Customer Service head of a large casino. Lucky is in the middle of solving a murder, managing her mother - who runs a brothel, falling in love with her best friend/best female impersonator in Vegas and trying to get her life to be more play and less work. You are with this tough little cookie as she dominates a male dominated environment while rocking her Jimmy Choos. You will laugh and blush a little but it’s a good time and a quick read. Warning to my squeamish friends there is a porn convention (nothing graphic) so suck it up you big prudes and enjoy because it’s VEGAS baby!

Note: There is now a sequel to this titled Lucky Stiff...also good stuff a full review to follow.

Orange is the New Black: My Year in a Women's Prison by Piper Kerman

Okay I love prison, not in the I’m dying to get in there way but more in the wow that sounds freakin’ terrible and I want to know more about it. This is the memoir of a middle class white girl who goes a little too wild in her youth and then over a decade later ends up in federal prison. I read this book in Montauk on vacation with the family and if there was less distractions I would have read the whole thing cover to cover. Despite the fact that prison sounds like a horribly depressing place this is an easy read (and oddly not depressing). This memoir is really about overcoming bad situations and realizing how grateful we should be for the little things in our life. For my squirmish friends there is no real brutality or sexuality here so you're safe.

Feeling a little sorry for yourself go ahead and read this and you’ll find yourself grateful for proper running shoes, food not cooked in a microwave and that no one has ever demanded you strip, bend over and cough….

And so it begins

Hi there and welcome to my brand spanking new blog.  This blog is where I will share reviews of new books, old books and everything in between (with the not so occasional snarky comment). While there are in fact lots of people out there reviewing books I promise to do so honestly.  Honestly you say?  Why yes, yes indeed.  See, no one is currently paying to read my opinion so I have the luxury of giving it honestly. This means I get to share the great books I've read with you as well as warn you of the not so great and quite honestly terrible books I have had the displeasure of reading.  So, I hope you like what you see you and come back often but either way be sure to say something in a comment section I'm always open to a different point of view.